Emotions are stirred from fear of the unknown.
Now is the time to dive in and make the changes that have been thought of, spoken of, dreamed of, for oh so long.
My body is afraid to let go of what it’s known for most of it’s existence.
It’s holding on to the stored memories, unspoken feelings, struggling as I “juice” them out.
Today, the joy in my heart has turned to tears,
tears and shaking, a trembling within,
tears of the unknown.
Fear not, for I am not afraid,
my body screams in fear,
but I, the essential I,
I am ready to shine bright,
the light of creation calls out to sing through this vessel.
Still she’s afraid, she’s afraid of being lost in the light of life,
afraid of what she’s never known or does not remember knowing.
Without the drug she’s formed habit with,
there is nothing she can do,
the transformation is happening
and all will be okay,
all is okay,
all is perfect.
What will happen?
What will be?
Who am I?
How will I be?
It doesn’t matter right now,
Day 10, that is a complete cycle. My body, and emotions are kind of freaking out if you couldn’t tell by the above piece. I think with 10 days now having past my body is starting to realize that I am for real, this is for real, transformation in full force, and the shell that has NEVER, since 2nd grade, experienced being at it’s ideal weight or having a healthy supportive mental attitude is being put in a position where major emergence of their Divine potential is the only option. The body will release any excess weight and I am forced to look at what is going on in my head in regards to all things. The person that I have intimately known for the past 20 years is choosing to take a leap into the unknown where she may never emerge from (in the same form) again. However, the person who will be emerging is more and more that person that I have been – for all eternity.
Part of what’s going on (I think), is that one part of me does not know if I can trust myself. There have been so many moves to become healthy, so many uncommitted moves. So many ups and downs, ins and outs, here’s and there’s that after 10 days there seems to be a questioning of tenacity in action. Perhaps the part that has not followed through in the past is that person who will be lost through this process and she is scared. It’s alright because I know that every part released will return to it’s source on high, or be transmuted within me to it’s pure aspects, and perform actions from then on – of more complete integrity, authenticity and shalom (peace or completeness).
A lot has been coming up about being in private space with myself to experience perfect, joyous, beautiful, fun and engaging moments. To be content with me, to create, play, work, learn, pray, meditate etc. and feel complete. Something is shifting, something more profound than I ever could have imagined.
Enough about me, what about the JUICE?
On the menu today:
Juice #1: Beet, Parsley, Romaine, Spinach, Green Apple, Lemon
Juice #2: Celery, Kale, Cucumber, Green Apple, Lemon, Ginger, Red Bell Pepper, Radish w/Tops
Juice #3: Orange, Grapefruit, Garlic (Tttttangy)
Vitamin ‘C’ Powder
Enema, Skin Brush, Tongue Scraper, Deep Breathing, Exercise
All of the above are essential, however I am just tapping into the power of Breath and Exercise. That may sound strange, mentally I’ve been well aware of the benefit and need for these life-giving tools I just haven’t utilized them much in present time. I used to dance , then I started to read, now, it’s time for incorporation, come-unity. I’m reaching out into the world and “out” into myself for a convergence of forces. HalleluYah!
May your journey be paved with deep insight, sweet compassion, and true transformation.
With Love, Blessings, wildflower fields of visions and dreams. Good Night, Chaya